How Your Camper Can Miss Home, and Still Have a Great Time at TVRC

Many parents have concerns about homesickness when enrolling their camper at TVRC for the first time. The first summer at TVRC is often a camper’s first time spending extended time away from home, independent from their parents. We find this can cause anxiety or hesitancy heading towards the summer. We believe, however, that almost every camper will not only be able to cope with being away from home, but will also thrive and build resilience as they push themselves to practice and gain independence.

We are true believers that, when it comes to homesickness, two things can be true at the same time. Your camper can miss the comforts and security of home, and still have an impactful and incredible time at camp. The reality is, most kids feel some apprehension before going on their first adventure away from home, and many parents feel a similar nervousness about the separation from their child. These feelings can be elevated when a camper expresses anxiety before their departure or in their first few letters from camp. However, it is important to know that these feelings of homesickness are normal, and are something that our staff at TVRC are trained to help campers process. At the end of their time at camp, campers will feel a great sense of accomplishment, especially when they successfully overcome the challenge of homesickness. We encourage parents to lean into the positive impact and long-term resilience their campers acquire through facing intentional challenges, including natural feelings of homesickness, during their TVRC experience. We believe there is no better way to practice independence than in a supportive environment like TVRC.

“Homesickness is not a psychiatric illness. It is not a disorder. It is the natural, inevitable consequence of leaving home. Every child is going to feel it, more or less, sooner or later. Every adult has had to face it and overcome it at some point in life… If you cannot master it, you cannot leave home.” -Dr. Michael Thompson, Ph.D., Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help A Child Grow

One of the best ways a parent can help prepare their camper for the summer is to normalize homesickness and the associated discomfort of missing home, while also expressing your confidence that They Can Do This! As a parent, you can say, “You will probably miss home, and that is okay. Home is a loving place with lots of comforts, but camp will be a wonderful and fun adventure. Home will be waiting for you, and even though you will miss home, know we are so excited for the experiences you will have and we know you can do this.” We ask you, our camper parents, to be our partners in helping your camper overcome homesickness. Below, we outline steps you can take ahead of camp that will set your campers up for success.

• Express to them your confidence in their ability to make it the entire month. Your camper knows you, and can read your face. If they sense that you are nervous for them, then they will doubt themselves.
• Practice being away from home. Have them spend a weekend with grandparents, cousins, or friends. Personal success in being away from home will always outweigh any theoretical parental reassurance.
• Talk to them about the possibility of them being homesick. Even if you OR they don’t think it will be a challenge. It is important to talk to them about it so that,should they become homesick, they know what to expect. It may seem like talking about it will predispose them to becoming homesick, however it will only normalize homesickness. On national average, 90% of campers will feel some level of homesickness at some point in their camp experience. Preparing them for the likelihood that they will have some homesickness will help them face it.
• Talk to them about a time that you were homesick. Knowing that their heroes, aka: parents (you are your camper’s hero, you know that right?) were homesick at some point, and that they overcame it, will help your camper know that they can overcome it as well.
• Involve your camper in the process of choosing to attend TVRC. Visit the website with them and look at the pictures. Visit our YouTube channel and watch our videos or slideshows from past years. The more they feel they are making the choice along with you, the more ownership they will feel once they arrive.
• Discuss what camp might be like before they leave. Consider role-playing situations like setting up a tent in the backyard or using a flashlight to find the bathroom at night.
• Pack personal items from home. Including things such as photos of friends and family, or a stuffed animal they are especially fond of. Additionally, pack bedding items to make sure they are comfortable in their bunk. Include a comfortable pillow and pillow case they love, sheets, and nice warm blankets or a comforter. Sleeping bags are wonderful and warm on the trail, but we want campers to feel at home in their cabins while at the Ranch. Pro tip: include your camper in the packing process. This way, they know exactly what they have brought, and where it is. This will help them feel more in control of their environment, which can help kids with homesickness.

When your camper is at camp:

• Write often! Whether it be a daily email or regular letters, keep the communication coming. Stay away from mentioning everything they are missing at home. Rather, refer to the daily Campanion photos you see. Instead of saying, “We went to Grandma’s house yesterday and everyone missed you,” say, “I saw you went on a trail ride yesterday at camp. How fun! What was your horse’s name?” This communication lets your camper know you are aware of what they are doing at camp and that you are excited for everything they are experiencing.
• If there is something difficult happening at home, try and leave that out of your communications when possible. The family may be heartbroken that the dog has passed away, but that is information that might be better received after camp when your camper has the support of home and family. If there is challenging news that must be communicated to a camper, please contact our Camp Director, Cora Ligori, or another member of the leadership team first.
• Communicate with the Camp Directors about your camper’s homesick struggles. If you consistently receive letters from your camper that are concerning, please call camp and let us know. Sometimes, your camper will put on a brave face with their cabin mates and counselors, but if you are concerned, we want to know about it.

What not to do:

• Avoid trying to call and talk to your camper. We discourage phone calls to campers from home, especially in homesick situations. Phone calls with parents are what we call the “mosquito bite itch” of homesickness- hearing a parent’s voice can feel really good in the moment, but may actually make the situation worse.
• Do not give them “an out.” Do not say, “try it for a week, and if you don’t like it we will come pick you up.” Your camper may be having a wonderful time, but if they have it in their mind that they are going home after a week, they will hold you to that expectation. Show them that you believe they can do it, and then trust that they can make it the whole month.
• The worst thing you can do is immediately come to their rescue after receiving a sad letter. This shows your camper that you don’t believe that they can do hard things without your help.

Our program is designed to push your camper out of their comfort zone. At some point, your camper will become uncomfortable, and will likely reach out to you for support. Communicate to them that they can do the hard things, and that you have full trust in them. If you are concerned about their well-being, absolutely reach out to the office. We can help you write those encouraging letters.

Very few homesickness cases are bad enough for the camper to go home. However, if your camper is not eating or sleeping due to severe homesickness, camp may not be the safest place for them. The American Camp Association research has shown that only 7% of really severe cases lead to needing to go home (at TVRC’s these numbers are ~ 2% in 2023, 0% in 2024). If the camp directors are concerned about your camper, we will be in touch with you directly.

Kidsickness

Just as it is common (and likely) for your camper to experience some homesickness, it is equally common for you as parents to experience some level of “kidsickness”. Having some anxiety around your camper going to camp is normal and to be expected. Remember that attending camp is a gift your camper will carry around with them for their lifetime. Here are some ways you can help yourself while your camper is away:

• WRITE LETTERS! This is the best way to stay connected with your camper. No matter if this is your child’s first summer at camp, or they are a seasoned Trailblazer, every camper loves to get letters from home.
• Remember that your camper is capable of doing hard things, and so are you. Your ability to handle the discomfort of having your camper away from home will provide a great example for your camper as they are adjusting to their new life at camp.
• Take care of yourself. Go on that trip you’ve been putting off. Have a spa day. Treat yourself to a nice dinner. While we are taking care of your camper, take some time for yourself!
• Spend some time looking at photos of your camper! Our photographers upload photos regularly to Campanion, where you can see all the fun your camper is having during their time with us. Keep in mind that if your camper is on a trip, we will not have photos of them to upload until they return to the Ranch.

In closing, I would like to share with you a final quote from Michael Thompson’s book, Homesick and Happy:

“Your child will return to you changed; something you cherished will be gone; [they] will have shed a part of [their] baby self like a snake sheds a skin, without a thought. It will never fit [them] again and it will never come back… [They] will feel stronger and you will feel a little bereft. When you send a child off to camp, the gift you are giving him or her is to let go. You have to be willing to sacrifice both that period of time with your child and, more important, be willing to let go of your importance in your child’s life to make space for someone else and new experiences.” (page 240-241)

Summers spent at TVRC are a gift with endless benefits; chances for your camper to try, fail, try again, succeed, grow, gain independence, and yes, even overcome the challenge of homesickness. You can help set them up for success before camp even starts- and we believe in you, just as you believe in your camper!